Seven top psychological allegories of a lifetime
First, the parable of growth: make an apple tree that grows forever, an apple tree, and finally bear fruit.
In the first year, it produced 10 apples, 9 were taken away, and 1 was obtained by itself.
In this way, the apple tree was indignant, so it cut off its meridians and refused to grow.
The next year, it produced 5 apples, 4 were taken away, and 1 was obtained by itself.
“Haha, I got 10% last year and 20% this year!
“This apple tree is psychologically balanced.
But it can still be like this: keep growing.
Maybe, in the next year, it bears 100 fruits, 90 are taken away, and 10 are obtained by itself.
Most likely, it was taken 99 and got one by itself.
But it doesn’t matter, it can continue to grow. In the third year, it produces 1000 fruits . Actually, how much fruit is not the most important thing.
Most importantly, the apple tree is growing!
When the apple tree grows into a towering tree, the forces that once hindered its growth will be weak enough to be ignored.
Really, don’t care too much about fruit, growth is the most important.
[Psychological review]Are you a migrant worker who has broken the meridians?
When you first started working, you were brilliant and full of spirits, believing that “I was born to be useful”.
But the reality soon knocked you on a few sap. Maybe you do n’t admit that you have made a great contribution to the unit. Maybe you get only verbal but you do n’t get benefits.The fruit itself enjoys only a small part, which is far from your expectations.
So you’re angry, you’re upset, you’re full of grumbles . In the end, you decide to stop working so hard and let your operations match your income.
After a few years, you reflect and find that you are no longer passionate and talented when you first worked.
”Old and mature.
“We are used to laughing at ourselves like this.
But the essence is that you have stopped growing.
Such stories abound around us.
The reason for this mistake is because we forget that life is a process and a whole. We feel that we have grown up, and now it is time to bear fruit.
We care too much about gains and losses, and forget that growth is the most important.
Fortunately, this is not the self-discriminating meridian in Jin Yong’s novels.
We can give up doing this at any time and continue to grow.
Remember: If you are a migrant worker and you encounter a boss or corporate culture that doesn’t understand management, brutal management, or wrong management, then remind yourself that you shouldn’t judge yourself because of anger and complaints.
Whenever you encounter something, you must make an apple tree that will always grow, because your growth is always more important than how much money you get each month.
Second, the parable of the motive: for whom the children are playing, a group of children are playing in front of an old man’s house, yelling loudly.
After a few days, the old man was intolerable.
So he came out and gave each child 25 cents, and said to them, “You make this place very lively. I feel a lot younger, and I am grateful for the money.
“The children are very happy, and still come the next day, as usual, playful.
The old man came out again and gave each child 15 cents.
He explained that he had no income and could only give less.
15 cents is okay, the child is still happily gone.
On the third day, the old man gave only 5 cents to each child.
The children were furious, “It’s only 5 cents a day, do you know how hard we are!”They swear to the old man that they will never play for him again!
[Psychological review]For whom are you “playing”?
This fable is a deeper answer to the apple tree fable: why the apple tree breaks its own meridians because it is not “playing” for itself.
There are two types of human motivation: internal motivation and external motivation.
If we act according to internal motivations, we are our own masters.
If we are driven by external motives, we will be controlled by external factors and become slaves to it.
In this parable, the old man’s calculations are simple. He turned the children’s internal motivation “to play for their own happiness” into an external motivation “to play for cents”, and he manipulated the external factor of cents, soIt also manipulates children’s behavior.
Does the old man in the parable look like your boss or boss?
And cents, do n’t they look like your salary, bonuses, and other external rewards?
If external assessments are used as reference coordinates, our emotions are prone to fluctuations.
Because we cannot control external factors, it can easily replace our internal expectations, make us dissatisfied, and make us grumble.
Negative emotions such as dissatisfaction and grievance make us painful. In order to reduce the pain, we have to reduce internal expectations. The most common method is to reduce the effort of work.
The main reason why a person will form an external evaluation system is that parents like to control him.
Parents are too fond of using verbal rewards, material rewards, etc. to control their children, regardless of their own motivations.
Over time, children forget their original motives, and they all care about external evaluations.
When he went to school, he forgot the original motivation of study-curiosity and the joy of learning; after work, he forgot the original motivation of work-the joy of growth, the evaluation of bosses and the fluctuations of income became the greatest joy and pain of his workThe source.
Remember: The external evaluation system is often a family inheritance, but you can completely break it, and cultivate your own internal evaluation system from now on, so that learning and work become “play for yourself”.
Third, the fable of planning: Fold a sheet of paper 51 times. Imagine that you have a large piece of white paper in your hand.
Now, your task is to fold it 51 times.
So how high is it?
Or a skyscraper so high?
No, the difference is too great, this thickness exceeds the distance between the earth and the sun.
[Psychological Review]Until now, I have asked dozens of people with this parable, and only two people said that this may be an unimaginable height, and the highest height that other people think of is as high as a skyscraper.
Folding 51 times is so scary, but what if it’s possible to stack 51 sheets of white paper together?
This contrast shocks too many people.
Because there is no direction and a lack of planning, life is like stacking 51 blank sheets of paper together.
Do this today and tomorrow, there is no connection between each effort.
In this way, even if each job is done well, they are simply a superposition for your entire life.
Of course, life is more complicated than this parable.
Some people, who have decided a simple direction in their lives and insisted on it, finally reach the heights that others cannot reach.
Perhaps, for example, the life direction of a friend of mine is English. He spent ten years of hard work, and the memory of words alone reached tens of thousands. At this point, he reached a level that ordinary people cannot reach.
There are also some people whose life direction is very clear, such as starting a company as a boss, so they need a lot of skills-professional skills, management skills, communication skills, decision-making skills and so on.
They may try to do this and try to do that in the beginning, none of them are particularly proficient, but in the end, the direction of starting a company as a boss combines these previous seemingly scattered efforts, which is also a kind ofComplex life is folded, not simply superimposed.
Remember: Visible power is more useful than invisible power.
Nowadays, it is popular to find answers from invisible places, such as potential development, such as successful learning, thinking that our lives can only be saved by some miracles.
However, in my opinion, Mao Zhengqiang, a consultant at the Hengyuan Psychological Counseling Center in Dongguan, is more correct. “Using existing capabilities through planning is more important than harvesting the so-called potential.
“Fourth, the fable to escape: the trick of the kitten to escape from the shadows” The shadows really hate!
“Those kittens Tom and Toby think so,” we must count it.”However, no matter where they went, Tom and Toby found that as soon as the sun appeared, they would see their own shadow driving them crazy.
However, both Tom and Toby finally found their own solutions.
Tom’s method is to keep his eyes closed forever.
Toby’s approach is to stay in the shadow of other things forever.
[Psychological Review]This parable illustrates how a small psychological problem becomes a large and small one.
It can be said that all psychological problems originate from the distortion of facts.
The main negative events are those that cause us pain.
Because of the painful experience, we are unwilling to face this negative event.
However, once it has happened, such negative events are destined to accompany us throughout our lives. What we can do at most is to suppress them into the subconscious, which is called forgetting.
However, they will continue to function in the subconscious as always.
And, even if we forget the facts even more, the pain associated with these facts will still hit us, making us somehow sad and uncontrollable.
This pain makes us work harder to escape.
To the end, the usual solutions are these two: Or, we are like Tom the kitten, completely distorting our experience, turning a blind eye to all important negative facts in life; or, we are like the Toby kittenI simply turned to pain and made everything very bad for myself. Since everything was so bad, the original incident that made me the saddest was not so painful.